Going to space for spite

I have no excuse for why I haven’t written a while except that I’ve been busy which is actually a terrible excuse but that’s what it is. But, as my sister points out, I won’t ever become a famous blogger without blogging so…here I am.

Here’s what I’ve been up to:

I went to Costa Rica and I held a toucan and I stood in a waterfall and I did great in my first semester of graduate school and I decided to travel to space.

The toucan and waterfalls were great and I’m really happy about my first semester but I am not one to be satisfied when one goal or milestone is reached and so I’ve set a new long term goal which is: go to space. For pleasure, not business.

I have a ton of reasons why I want to go to space but my main reason is spite. Spite at who? Literally everyone. I can no longer bear to be in a conversation which begins with “I just got back from….(insert country here)” and ends two hours later with a random passerby showing me pictures of her trip of enlightenment to India.

Quite frankly, I’m not that interested and no one’s travel story is that interesting. I definitely want to know where you went and what your opinion was, but the details of your feelings and thoughts every day can be left to your journal. This includes myself. Literally everyone who has ever been out of the country is guilty of this. We get it, you went somewhere, you saw a different corner of the world and now you’re changed forever.

The above problem could easily be solved by going to space. The next time some begins to tell me about how they backpacked through Europe and didn’t shower for several weeks and their body was dirty AF but their spirit has been cleansed, I can nod very enthusiastically, turn on my bright eyes to look super interested and then say “that is so cool, I totally know how you feel because when I was in outer space….” And that will be the end of that and every travel-related conversation.

I also think space tourism would be the perfect way to spite the government, who does not think space travel is important and decided to cut our space exploration program. Going casually to space for no other reason than to be in space would probably drive them up a wall considering they don’t even think people should go to space to learn or explore. How PISSED would they be if they saw a selfie of me in space with a frozen margarita with the caption “this drink is out of this world”?

I know spite isn’t the best reason to do something but I also know that drinking too much makes me miserable and I should wait until my food cools before I try to eat it but I JUST DON’T CARE.

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