My second time in the back of a cop car

I hope everyone woke up with a hangover today. The vomiting and headaches are almost worth it when you know it’s for your country.
July fourth is a great holiday because you can guilt your friends into drinking by telling them their sobriety is proof they hate America. My night started (as most of my nights do) with cheap wine and it ended in the back of a cop car.

When we got to the bar we met a gaggle of men who I estimated to be in their late twenties but turned out to be aged 30-40 with actual careers. One of them gave me a business card. These were not my type of people but also simultaneously my favorite type of people because they can buy me drinks. Lauren kissed one while I mentioned my boyfriend every 45 seconds and tried to appear interested in some guy’s alleged restaurant chain. I would have walked away but lauren was busy and I had lost Molly for the third time that evening. Also, I was getting free drinks.

Around 12:30 we decided to leave because even though it was still early we were already 2am drunk. At some point we ended up at a bar in which we were the only ones not in leather. I made a mental note that this was the weirdest part of the night. Little did I know 25 minutes later, I would be fake crying and getting a ride home from a cop.

The way we told the story this morning was that our cab driver “kept making stops” to pick up other people. In actuality he made one stop and didn’t even pick the guy up. We all got very annoyed and told the driver to please not stop for other people. we may have raised our voices. This morning, lauren admitted that “maybe” she was too hard on him. Whatever. The point is that he pulled over, told us to get out, and left us on the side of the road. Drunk Me decided our only option was to contact the police. I faked cried and maybe exaggerated what had happened but next thing you know a nice police officer was picking us up and happily driving us back to our house. I was pretty insistent that legal action be taken against the cab driver while the officer was equally insistent that no crime had been committed. but what about the mental anguish??

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